For more information on Ancient Dragon Zen Gate, please visit our website at www.ancientdragon.org. Our teachings are offered to the community through the generosity of our supporters. To make a donation online, please visit our website. Good evening, everyone. Can you hear me all? So this evening, I would like to speak a little bit of a follow-up from yesterday morning, but I want to talk about the balancing that's part of our, the heart of our practice. I spoke yesterday about settling within, turning, taking a backward step, finding the source. So I've been talking during the practice period a lot about what Hongzhi says about response and appropriate response.

[01:07]

So our practice is not about just turning within. We also look to the world around us and respond and respond to all the situations in our life, in our world, on our seat. But also Our sitting practice, our formal practice, is about uprightly sitting, facing the wall, facing ourselves, facing the world. And as Hongzhe and the whole Soto lineage talks about, it's returning to the source. So I'm going to be citing some of Hongzhi's practice instructions, some of which some of you heard yesterday morning, but there'll be some new ones too. This idea of the source is not about some historical chronological source, although it may include that, but it's the source right now.

[02:15]

of all of us being here, of each one of us on our seat, coming from innumerable causes and conditions and taking the backward step, turning within, facing and communing with that source is in some ways the heart of our practice. We sit and face the world. We sit and face the wall. We sit and face everything arising, thoughts and feelings, letting them go and they return. So what I want to talk tonight is about this ongoing balancing between turning within and responding, seeing the world. Our bodhisattva vow is to face the suffering of the world, to help relieve that suffering in ourselves, in the people around us, in our sangha, in the world, and in the whole planet.

[03:29]

But it helps. It's part of the practice that we commune with the source. And so there's this ongoing balance. We never reach the perfect equilibrium. Maybe that's what a Buddha does. But as Bodhisattva practitioners, we lose our balance. As Yukiroshi said, we're losing our balance against the background of perfect balance. So some words from Hongzhi, who we've been focusing on during this practice period. A sincere practitioner's authentic task is to practice the essence of in each minute event, in every minute, carefully discerning the shining source, radiant without discrimination, one color, unstained. So discerning the shining source. You must keep turning inwards. Then the source is apprehended.

[04:31]

This is called being able to continue the family business. So our family business is, of course, awakening. and bodhisattva vow, and relieving suffering, and helping the awakening of all beings around us in the world, and including on our own seats, how do we discern the shining source? How do we commune with the source radiant in everything, in each situation? And then how do we balance that with our practice in the world, caring for the world, caring for reality? So this source is what we return to again and again. And it's calming and settling and relaxing.

[05:34]

it actually supports us when we do see some way to respond to the difficulties of our life and of the world. Hongzhe again says, all Buddhas and every ancestor, without exception, testify that they all arrive at this refuge where the three times past, present, and future cease and the 10,000 changes are silenced. Straight ahead, unopposed by the smallest atom, the inherently illumined Buddha spirit subtly penetrates the original source. So we return to this communion with the source, and then we go back out and respond appropriately to the difficulties. And sometimes that response is just to return and sit. Sometimes we don't know what to do to help the suffering in the world and in the people around us and ourselves.

[06:41]

And then we come back and inhale and exhale and settle. And as we settle, as the Sixth Ancestor says in the Platform Sutra, right in the middle of this samadhi, there's prajna. There's insight. There's awakeness. And there are insights as to how to respond appropriately in particular situations. But they don't come always. And... we keep needing to return. So this is an ongoing, this is not something that we find some perfect balance and there we are. This is this ongoing practice. So, Hongshu talks about this again and again. Another example, the pure ultimate self blazes brilliance simply from inherent illumination. Facing the boundaries of the object world without yet creating the sense gaze, gaze realized the subtlety of how to eliminate the effects of the swirling flow of rising and extinction.

[07:53]

So we all have this, we all have this swirling flow of rising and extinction. And it's subtle how to put that aside. It's not that we crush it forever necessarily. Sometimes, some parts of it maybe. Anyway, Hongzhu continues, rely only on the source of creation. If you feel a shadow of a hair's gap, nothing will be received. So, how do we recognize this source of creation, this source of creation not back in the time of Genesis or something, this source of creation, well, not even back in the time of our great, great, great ancestors in Africa when there were several species of humans. How do we appreciate this balancing?

[08:57]

So Hong Xiu also says, wake up. And in turn, the ground, the roots, and the dust are clearly cast away. In 100,000 samadhis, all gates are majestic, all dharmas are fulfilled. Still, you must gather them together and bring them within to reach the time honored return to the source and serve the ancestors. So wake up. That's our practice, to wake up. To be woke, as they say. And then to respond appropriately to all the difficulties of the world. But then we have to keep coming back, returning to the source. So I'm reminded of this great poem by a great Zen poet, Wong Wei, that I've mentioned many times.

[10:05]

In my middle years, I've grown fond of the way I wander off from my home in South Mountain and look for sights that only I can see. I follow the stream back to the source and sit and wait for the time when clouds arise. Perhaps I meet a version of the woods. We talk and laugh, and I forget to go home. So if we have some home, some refuge that we think we can rely on, we can forget about it. We can just be present in our life, in the world, on the wall, But this returning to the source is subtle. And my name, Taigen, as translated by my teacher, is ultimate source. So how do we return to the source?

[11:09]

And actually, Pogetsu's Dharma name is also Kigen, which is returning to the source. So this is something we do again and again and again. And we forget and we get lost. We get lost. We do. We make mistakes. This is part of how we learn, how we practice, and it's okay that we make mistakes. It would be great if we didn't make harmful mistakes. It would be great if we made the right mistakes to help us find the source and find our way of appropriate response. We each have our own particular way of beingness. So there's this balancing. There's this, I don't know, I don't know if the seesaw is the right metaphor, but this is our ongoing life of practice. We turn within. We take the backward step. We sit for a period or an evening, or as we will this next weekend, some of us for three days, or welcome to come for any one of those days.

[12:19]

Can we settle deeply into just being present, just being who we are? Sometimes it's difficult to be who we are. How do we just not run away from ourselves? How do we be who we is? And what is that? How is that? And following the stream back to the source, sometimes we get there and we see Thought clouds arise. Our feelings arise. We actually are there. Maybe it's easier during sesshin. I don't know. Sometimes we can do it just in any period of zazen. We settle enough so that we see a thought arise. Some feeling arise. Some sensation in our shoulders or knees arise. Right there. And then we just watch it and let it go. Clouds, blood clouds stream away, and then we come back and face the wall.

[13:28]

So again, I want to just read little excerpts from Hongzhi's practice instructions that help us with this. You must take the backward step and directly reach the middle of the circle from where light issues forth. Outstanding and independent, still you must abandon pretexts for merit. This is not some business transaction where if we do this correctly, we'll be good children of Buddha. This is this ongoing process. Giving up of ourselves, giving off of ourselves, giving away. This is generosity. We also take care of ourselves. That's also part of generosity. But this backward step, Dogen talks about taking the backward step that turns the light inwardly to illuminate the self.

[14:35]

And that self is not just, you know, our conditioned self. ourselves derived from all of our DNA ancestors, all of our spiritual ancestors, all of our cultural ancestors. It is that. But also, how is it right now? The source is present in all space. So I want to do one of Hongzhi's meditations on space during the three-day sitting. We see that all space right now, all beings right now, is the source of everything arising in ourselves and all of us, all of those around us, all the folks sitting in the Rubber Lincoln Square Zendino, all of us sitting on the Zoom Zendino. It's all right here. So again, some more

[15:38]

I think this is one that I did not read yesterday. Hongzhi says, just resting, just resting, just resting, is like the great ocean accepting hundreds of streams all absorbed into one flavor, freely going ahead, responding. It's like the great surging tides riding on the wind, all coming onto this shore together. How could they not reach into the genuine source How could they not realize the great function that appears before us? So this is another way of talking about this balance. There's the genuine source and then there's the great function. The function that is our Dharma position, our situation. And how do we respond? How do we allow this functioning? this response, this caring, this generosity, this sharing with each other, within ourselves, with all beings, with our Samdha, and with all the beings around the world who are in terrible suffering right now.

[16:55]

Not that we should get attached to suffering. We also should appreciate joy and playfulness And they're not separate. That's part of the point of this. This balancing is to see that this turning within, this great source, is not separate from this great function. This responsibility, this ability to respond, which we all have, each in our own way. And then we get lost and we come back and face the wall again. And then we go back out. Anyway, it's important to balance these two aspects. So just a little more from Holger. And then I want some discussion.

[17:59]

and questions and comments and your perspectives on this. Actually, just one more I'll share. This is from the last section, which I love, one of the last sections in the Hongzhi's Practice Instructions about graciously share yourself amid the 10,000 beings in the busy marketplace, graciously share yourself. This is another way of talking about this great function, about our response ability. But in that section it says also, when you have thoroughly investigated your roots back to their ultimate source, a thousand or ten thousand sages are no more than footprints on the trail. In wonder, return to the journey, avail yourself of the path and walk ahead. So this walking ahead is about this balancing, I would suggest, this balancing of taking the backward step, turning within, feeling what we feel.

[19:10]

Just how do you feel? How does it feel to be here, to be yourself, with all of the complexities and simplicity of that? face the wall, to face ourselves, to not turn away, and then to return back to the busy marketplace, back to our everyday activities, and Express ourselves, express kindness and caring. And we make mistakes, and then we have to go back and face the wall again. But this is the heart of our practice. We go back and forth. Both are important. They're not really different, but it's pretty hard not to see them as separate. So we chanted the harmony of difference and sameness. And harmony is an interesting word. it feels like in that saying that difference and sameness may be different, but they're also the same. How do we harmonize this facing the wall and this facing our everyday activities and the people we see in our everyday activities?

[20:22]

This is subtle. So the harmony of difference and sameness that we chanted goes back to Shito. So Hongzhou lived in the 1100s. Dogen expressed that teaching in Japan in the 1200s, Tsukiboshi in the 1960s. In the 700s, there was this guy, Shito, who wrote The Harmony of Difference and Sameness. And he also wrote the song of the grass hut we chant sometimes. But he said, the spiritual source shines clear in the light. Branching streams flow on in the dark. So there's a remarkable consistency of our great Sao Dong and Chinese or Soto tradition that we are practicing here. And it's not about following this tradition and putting down other traditions, because all of the traditions are part of this same dynamic, actual tradition.

[21:34]

Buddhist spiritual traditions and other spiritual traditions as well. But this is our way of talking about it and seeing it, that there's this balance. And we lose our balance again. And then we come back and face the wall and see, oh yeah, there's this perfect balance. We inhale. Then we exhale. And then we enjoy the space at the end of the exhale. So ultimately, in Dongshan, several generations after Sutta, talked about the five degrees in which we see this dynamic process of this balancing, this ongoing balancing that is our spiritual life, turning within, facing the wall. stepping out into our world, into our everyday activities, and graciously sharing ourselves.

[22:41]

And the ultimate of the five degrees is to see that they're not separate. When we talk about it, it sounds like it's two different things. But the more we settle into facing the wall, the more we settle into just expressing ourselves, sharing graciously, this experience of being ourselves, not separate from everybody else. We see how they're in harmony and really not at all separate. So we will have three days at the end of this week in which we'll finish the practice period and explore this more deeply. sitting for many periods facing the wall and then graciously sharing ourselves for Yogi meals and services and maybe everybody who I can see who's here maybe not everyone but many of us are already registered for that session but if you're not tonight's the deadline for that

[24:03]

Anyway, I will stop and sit. And please, I invite you to share your comments, responses, perspectives, questions about any of this. Please feel free. Thank you. Did it? No. I saw you. I'm not sure who's... Is anybody online also? As comments, feel free to interview. Maybe Tilapia had a few thoughts. Tilapia, how are you doing? Hi. I kind of see Dylan.

[25:10]

Good evening, Ty, again. Hey, Dylan. So one of the lines in the Harmony of Difference and Sameness that sticks out to me is, in the darkness, there is light, but don't see it as light. And in the light, there's darkness, but don't see it as darkness, I think. Something close to that. Yeah. I had a new thought tonight. Oh, good. Yeah, new thoughts. Yeah, I wanted to run it by you. Is there any way that that's talking about dismantling ideas of purity and evil in ourselves? Like that, you know, in every one of us that there's you know positive and harmful inclinations and that to kind of recognize each being as being a harmony of different impulses and that there's not really like you know absolute good or absolute evil or is it not referring to that at all or maybe it could be since I you know that's what I heard it as but has anyone before thought about it in that way

[26:32]

Oh, of course. It's all been done. It's all been said. It's all been written. Anyway, yeah, so, in the light there is darkness, but don't take it as darkness. In the dark there is light, but don't see it as light. Yeah. No, I like, you know, what you're adding to that is helpful, I believe, that we do have ideas of light and dark as good and bad. I mean, that's one way that we interpret those things, and there are many other ways. But I don't think there are, you know, good people and bad people, or there are evil people and there are, you know, uh, great saints, I think, well, maybe there are great saints, but, um, but I, you know, it's, um, it's a matter of what's going on. It's happening.

[27:35]

So there are great, helpful, good activity. And then there's what we might call evil activity. And we don't have to people, people who, I mean, this is, it's kind of a trap. We might say that people who do horrible things are evil people. And then there's, and then we reify that as who they are. Uh, sometimes there are people who do harmful things and, you know, they should be incarcerated. So to prevent them doing more bad karma, they don't hurt themselves as well as the others. Uh, so yeah, it's complicated. How do we act in the world? But, um, I think when we start labeling people as good or bad, there's a problem. There's good activity, good function, and there's harmful function. Helpful and harmful is a better way to look at it, I think. Thank you for your question, John. Do you have a follow-up? No, that's good. Okay.

[28:36]

Asian has our hand up. So maybe related to that, I actually was thinking tonight about harmony in the musical sense. And when we harmonize, we bring multiple different voices or tones together and harmonize. Each tone is really part of the whole. And if you remove one, it really changes everything. And some of those tones may seem really discordant. Like in a rich jazz chord, you're going to have some real outliers there. And... I wonder if it's maybe not a matter of light or dark, but as both are elements of the same whole, and so they are distinct, but they're also not.

[29:39]

So if we think about it in the more holistic sense, Maybe it helps to think about even things that we think are evil are happening for some reason that we don't understand. That could be. I think for the people who suffer... as a result of wars and so forth, it's hard to say that it's part of some greater whole, but from another way of looking at it, it's all this one situation. Well, yeah, I mean, what are you going to say otherwise? Well, I think... There's the whole and then there's that? No, I think we also have precepts. So our precepts are about being helpful and trying to lessen harm in our own lives, in Sanghas, in the world.

[30:49]

So we do have values. It's not valueless. We do see not killing not lying, not taking what's not given, and so forth. And these precepts underlie all of this. So that wholeness you're describing is not separate from acting, responding, functioning to benefit the world, our world, our lives, each other's lives. So it's not value-free, but there is a deeper wholeness. I agree with that. But that's just my opinion.

[31:51]

But it is also the precepts out of which Buddha arises. The precepts are before Buddha. The precepts create Buddha. So we can never keep them perfectly? Yeah, and what does perfectly mean? I don't know. I think perfectionism is a trap. I think if we think that everything has to be exactly right, we're not seeing the greater picture which you were describing. Other comments, questions, online or anybody in the Lincoln Square Zendo? I can't see them. Lincoln Square Zendo, so you'll have to help. I'll get Sue. Hi. Go ahead. I'm wondering about you know, beyond what we think of as humans, but like the world just seems so full, like the darkness of black holes or the light of supernova, you know, these forces are of destruction and creation appear violent to a human being, but kind of like Haitian said, they're all part of the harmonic functioning of humans.

[33:21]

worlds we can't imagine. And, you know, so it appears that there is a lot of destruction. I don't know. I haven't been in a black hole, but I heard if I went in one, it would destroy me. And, you know, are they following the precepts too? Or do they have their own precepts, which are like kill Hogatsu? You know, I'm just, I'm just, you know, kind of thinking about this. It's such a kind of amazing kind of thing about like, where do the precepts So, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cut you off. Are you finished? Yes, I am. Thank you. Oh, okay. Okay. Yeah, thank you. Right. It's not just about us. We're not practicing just for ourselves, even for the whole of ourselves as humanity. We practice, and we're not practicing just for things now. We're practicing for the future. practicing for our ancestors in the past uh of course we each benefit from doing this practice so it's a great question i uh and i don't have all the answers man you know it's like uh yeah there are black holes there's there's novas but even you know there are forest fires there are floods there are all kinds of phenomena um

[34:50]

Volcanoes. Volcanoes, yeah. Earthquakes and any, you know, like... What precept? They're all Buddha in some ways. The universe is expounding the Dharma. Then there is something, you know, this is maybe where the formless qualities of the precepts come into play, which can seem dangerous to humans who want to follow, as someone told me recently, the propaganda of the ego. Yeah. you know, get intoxicated. Maybe you're like, yeah, these precepts make me good. But the formless quality is even activities that might seem harmful. I think as Asian is talking about are part of this harmonic situation. And still with our, our humans, I'm happy that we have the precepts and the parameters, and I'd be happy to discuss them with the black hole. I don't know that black holes have sense gates where they could hear, I guess, who's speaking.

[35:57]

I mean, maybe that would be good if they did. It would be powerful. There's a lot going on in that physical environment, you know. And they give birth, too, apparently. So, yeah, I don't know. I don't know either. I'm open to that conversation. I think that's a great topic, you know. I think it's important for us to look at the precepts. but to look at them in this deeper way that you're suggesting. And our ideas of good and evil are just our ideas. And yet we want to be helpful. We want to do no harm or decrease harm in whatever way we see it. But we should be humble about the limitations of our own awareness and and sense gates, perceptions, our own intellectual and spiritual limitations.

[36:58]

So the precepts help with that, I believe. The precepts are not about being good and not being bad. They're deeper than that. So it's not a practice of being good or being right. This is a practice of harmonizing all of these elements. And it's a dynamic practice. And of course, you know, I hope you will all be good and not do evil, but our ideas of that are limited. And we don't always know. We don't always know. In fact, we usually don't know all of the aspects of the effects of the karmic effects of our body, speech, and mind. And We try and practice right speech and kind speech. We try and think well of others. And we also respond when we see harm being done.

[38:02]

So the precepts have these many dimensions, as Jogetsu was saying. Tyler, it looks like you might have a comment or question. Maybe I'm wrong. Matthew. Oh, Matthew's got one. In Harmony, we chance that there's the line about not setting up standards of your own. And there's a line I underlined somewhere on Hong Shih that I'll misquote. Something along the lines of not far away from another what's not yours. There's this dance in the sutures of this, you know, well, don't look where other people have wound up or their enlightenment, but like But don't go completely off on your own either. And with the past few questions, I don't know if this is still just circling like, well, maybe the precepts will sort it out. It's sort of a half point question. Sorry, it's breaking up.

[39:03]

I didn't hear the last thing. As you can see. Matthew, I'll Simone, maybe you can help. I heard you talking about circling, and I didn't hear what you said after that method. I think maybe I'm frozen because the... The Wi-Fi at the Zendo is starting to fry a little bit, it looks like. Okay. Okay. Well, that's... We've gone rogue. Okay.

[40:04]

There's something that says ADCG. I don't know what that is. Anyway, we're... where we are not harmonizing in the Zoom with the Lincoln Square Zendo. Hello? We now are. Simone, are you there? I am, yep, so far, yes. We are back. We can hear you. I suspect you all can hear us again. There was an interruption in the internet connection, but we seem to be back. So Matthew was asking about, your mom was the last comment? Oh, my last comment was that my mom would always say, do what I say, not what I do. Yeah. Yes, that happens sometimes, yes. Don't make up standards on your own. Don't make up standards on your own, and at the same time, do not sort of borrow the language of another's enlightenment. Yeah, Homshu says something like, do not...

[41:08]

Do not borrow from outside. But this is exactly this dynamic, balancing dynamic I'm trying to talk about, that we do turn within. We face the wall and we face ourselves. And then what is the source that comes out from there? And then we also, you know, I could say test it. We also let it function graciously sharing. And so there's this back and forth balancing. I think that's what you were saying, Matthew, but I'm not sure what your question is now. Okay. Neither am I, really. I guess I was wondering, is this sort of pointing back to the sort of let the precepts do the work? Is this... No, I don't think so.

[42:13]

I think we each... The Buddha work... Well, the precepts, of course, do the Buddha work, but it's our practices that we are doing the Buddha work. But the Buddha work includes both taking the backward step and turning within and facing the wall and facing ourselves and stepping out and graciously sharing ourselves. Both are the Buddha work. And they work together. They're not separate entities. So, yeah, it's a kind of dance that is at the heart of our practice. And we sometimes get stuck on one side or the other. We lean over towards just turning within and ignoring the world. Or we lean over to trying to act in the world and we forget about commuting back in the source. So this part of what I want to emphasize, what I'm trying to emphasize tonight is that this balancing is something that's ongoing.

[43:16]

It's our whole lives. It's not that you reach some perfect balance and that's it. We lose our balance. We are always losing our balance. And that's why teachers are important and sangha is important because they help us see how to get back to some balancing. But it's not about being perfect. I don't know if that helps nothing. Thank you. I saw Mike and then David. And I think I'm not sure if Tyler has her hands up too. And Tyler maybe had it before that. I apologize. So brief cue. Okay. I was thinking a lot about Asian's comment about harmony in the musical sense and kind of the subjectivity of harmony and how Um... Some people can listen to a crunchy jazz chord and that might sound dissonant to them, whereas to a jazz musician or to people who listen to other styles of music, it may be less so.

[44:17]

And I've recently been listening to microtonal music where there's more than 12 notes in the scales, and that sounds pretty dissonant at first glance. And following that thread, it can be easy to fall into a nihilistic state of, well, If it's all just subjective, then what's the point? But then I think about order and organization of musical scales. And even in microtonal music, there's a 31-note, 31-octave scale. You know, there's still an order to that, and there's an order to jazz harmony. And this is important for composition, for example. If you want to write a jazz tune, you have to know the theory behind what makes crunchy jazz chords sound like crunchy jazz chords in order to do that. And that order is reminding me a little bit of the precepts, where depending on your style of music that you're trying to engage with, you can engage with that order.

[45:18]

So I think our order might be the precepts, but that might not be for everyone. You know, Black Hole might have a different kind of musical order. So I don't know, that's a thought that came to my head. Yeah, just to try and respond briefly, thank you very much, Mike. I think that's right. But there are different languages, you know. Some people speak in Chinese, some people speak in Russian, some people speak English even. And there's different languages. For example, koans is a whole different language. The more you pay attention to koans, even in English translations, you learn there's a kind of logic and language to that. So I don't know what the language of black holes is. But I think jazz is a really good metaphor for koans. Zen practice and Zen Sangha, because there's this, harmony isn't even exactly the right word. There's this way in which it's all flowing together and improvising.

[46:21]

So anyway, Tyler's had her hand up for a while, and then I think there was somebody else in the room, but Tyler? You know, the big word for me was dissonance, actually. I encountered a quote from Vicki Austin, who was doing a Zazen training at a San Francisco Zen Center. I was just observing her through the Zoom that she was so flexible, and I'm not. And she made it look so easy, all these different adaptive ways that we could sit to work with our bodies, to harmonize our bodies, to find that balance. And she said... Always spend time with dissonance in your life. And I thought it was just such a wonderful snippet of enlightenment. You know, my dad was a jazz man and he played with Lenny Bro. They had a jazz trio, actually. And dissonance was a big part of their jam and what they did.

[47:22]

So I really just enjoyed that whole, even the black hole part. I wonder what kind of symphony it's playing in its exotic nature. What a great conversation to see. That's all just sharing. Thank you. Thank you, Tyler. Yeah, I think it's great when we have dissonance because that's where we not find a deeper harmony, but just, you know, it's great to make mistakes. It's great to be off key. Sometimes even we, we, this is how we learn a deeper, maybe it's the black hole harmony. I don't know. Anyway, thank you. There was somebody else in the, in the room who had, Oh, and carry on our conversations, uh, in the kitchen and in the cloud.

[48:12]

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